It’s impossible to precisely measure how deep a bond is between two people. But I do believe when the love is real and deep, you can see and feel it. And when it isn’t there—or when the relationship is fractured—that too is discernible and hard to hide.
I was reluctant to watch the documentary series about Prince Harry and Meghan Markle when it was released last month on Netflix. I’m not exactly a royal watcher. I’m not excited about their celebrity or all the tabloid media attention. I don’t like soap operas, including those about the rich and famous. There was also enough negativity toward this pair in my house that I doubted I could watch it without frustrating interruptions.
But there’s little doubt Harry’s exit from the royal family—indeed the couple’s exit and eventual relocation in North America so few years after their 2018 marriage—has been a global cultural event. The massive sales of his new book Spare released this week—reportedly the fastest-selling nonfiction book ever with over 1.4 million sales on the first day—underscores this.
For those who are fascinated by the British royal family or who at least recognize the continuing impact of the monarchy, the decision of the Duke and Duchess of Sussex to relinquish their position in the family firm and set up stakes in Santa Barbara, California was no small thing—and surely fraught with drama and considerable pain. I will say I had expected the biracial Meghan Markle to be an enormous asset in modernizing the monarchy and providing optimism throughout the commonwealth; what a boon it would have been if the family had successfully embraced this intelligent woman of color.
My purpose here is not to detail all the legal machinations, self-centered psychodramas, battles with the media or fighting within the family and their handlers played out over six episodes authorized by the couple. Rather, I was struck by how clear and obvious their love is from the first minutes of the first episode. That continued to be visible throughout the behind-the-scenes series; it’s something that’s hard to fake, especially when embroiled in a major public battle. Honestly, that fact won me over: There can never be too much love in the world.
So here’s the question: Can love conquer all? It’s an age-old question, played out on every continent, in every epoch, in almost every home. And the realities of money and dysfunctional families and social stigmas and world events are just some of the complicating forces that can break two people who thought their love was strong enough. It’s a continuing question for this couple. What do you think?
As always, I look forward to reading your thoughts. Please do be respectful of each other in your replies. And if you’re among those who think there are more important matters that should be on our minds rather than this weekend musing, you can count on a return to all that in the days ahead.
It is always a huge, and painful challenge to deal with, and to leave a dysfunctional family. It is good to know, and to see acknowledged, that the love of Meghan and Harry gave this couple the strength and determination to find their very own way, and to live happier, fulfilled lives. Thank you for honoring their love and their difficult, challenging journey.
Listening to many naysayers who accuse Megan of being manipulative and dastardly pursing her own evil agenda it is clear to me that whatever reactions are voiced are borne out of personal preferences and experiences. . In essence, people look for ways to justify their beliefs and experiences. I say: it’s their life. Who am I to judge? However, I ask those who have a negative reaction: “what do you gain by sitting in judgement of others?”
I also came away from that documentary saddened by the opportunity lost by the royal family. They had a huge opportunity to embrace change, to almost make up for some of the past injustices of their empire, and to win kudos around the world for being a part of the kinds of progressive actions that Harry and Meagan have been involved it. I think had they done so, they might also have increased their standing as royals in a world where that model is becoming outmoded. I hope H and M can continue to stand strong in their love.
I don’t know about love conquering anything, but like you, I was immediately struck by the genuineness of their love. That is impossible to fake.
For all the naysayers--as in Meghan is an opportunist, etc etc etc--I say, get a life. Why are you wasting your time criticizing a couple (or a person) with whom you have no contact and over whom you have no influence?
The reaction, specifically silence, from the RF speaks volumes if you look at the RF as a family. As an institution, the silence reveals their fears of departing from their engrained practice of cooperating with the notoriously toxic British press in order to maintain their power and riches.
Love can have huge power to conquer all sorts of challenges, stories like this are such a great example of that. But the other side to love is that it can also keep people in very bad situations, or keep them in situations where they might be perpetuating systems that are ultimately not good for the majority of people. The fear of losing love, or the protection that it provides, can keep people maintaining things that might not be good for them or for society at large. So love's power to conquer can be a double edged sword.
Meghan and Harry left a dysfunctional family that demonstrates over and over again their racism, sense of entitlement and obnoxious wealth accumulation. Meghan and Harry have two young children who will lead lives filled with love from their parents and will grow up doing good things. The children will be protected. They will never be expected to suffer the toxicity of the British monarchy.
I'm glad Prince Harry and Meghan chose to leave and came to the "colonies" to set up home. Their story--their love story--reminds me of King Edward VIII who abdicated to marry Wallis Warfield Simpson. There are so many more love stories similar to theirs. Love can heal all things and love is more important than most anything. I believe, above all else, It's the one thing for which people are always searching. Never stop searching for what it is you really want -- settle for nothing less. I kissed a lot of toads, but after 50 years I found my soul-mate--worth every minute.
After the Netflix series, plus the lack of historical documentation proving the Nazi sympathizer theory, one wonders if it is an attempt to discredit Edward to exonerate the Firm for their treatment of him. The year, 1937, of the one visit to Germany begs for research.
I do think they are very much in love & it shows. I love them for standing up for each other, against the formidable opponents of the British monarchy & the British tabloids & global paparazzi who relentlessly hunt them!
I had the exact same reaction. It's sad that so many people were disappointed by the Netflix documentary because it didn't dish much dirt. I highly respect and admire Harry and Meghan.
This whole things is about cultural differences between Brits and Yanks. I've lived, studied and worked in both cultures. Here is my take on all of this.
My first assumption that underpins this all is I see all of their complaints about racism and the media as legitimate. I believe it and agree it's real and horrible. It's how they have gone about reacting to it that presents a square peg in a round hole. The peg is American tv emotive thinking. The hole is that strange mix of British reserve, subversive sense of humor ("taking the piss"), and not taking themselves very seriously. H&M take themselves ENORMOUSLY SERIOUSLY. That was their undoing.
"Once they have exhausted the topic of themselves, what is left for them to talk about?" Was probably one of the best insights I've read so far.
They are playing out two storylines it seems to me. The Duke and Dutchess of Windsor with a Diana overlay.
The Windsors were Nazi sympathizers who were expelled under other pretenses. A new history by Andrew Lownie, Traitor King, addresses the sordid affair. Wallis didn't want to marry but got caught in it all. David very submissive. H & M are not Nazis obviously, but his desperate submission to her, the relationship as a vehicle to get out of the predicament of his birth, and her pleasure in control of a global symbol in an attention economy, give the appearance of lurve. I'm sure in many ways they both feel love but the foundations are a weakness that will prove a problem in time.
M channels Diana in many ways. The soCal touchy feely emoting, therapy, hugs, and indulging in the mother tongue of "speaking my truth" etc. You can have your own opinions and recollections, you can not have your own truth. No one owns The Truth. This idea is very damaging. The scientific method it is not. For a thinking person, life is the creation of hypotheses about how the world works, the gathering of facts, and constant testing of hypotheses against facts to refine hypotheses and start the process again and keep refining until your are satisfied you have evidenced based knowledge about whatever it is that interests you. Keeping an open mind to constant refinement and/or new information that might completely change your mind is healthy.
But M is not the Diana figure. Harry has become his mother. He indulges emotions. It's all emotional all the time. Not logic. Like Diana, he can't understand the family. They in turn, get quickly fed by with all the whining. So to get their attention he does the book and interviews and attacks them. Even Diana limited it to one book and one interview. But then she was still in the system at that time.
Like most (but not all) of Britain, the family do not have a fetish for constant high drama. They have a very low emotional IQ. If they have a catch phrase, whether life is up or down, it is "just get on with it". M is a product of a certain type of American entertainment culture (discussed below) that is at complete odds with how the British tick. It's great for H, but Britain is not on board with it at all.
Megan was always going to face a brutal on boarding into the institution. ... Including racism. They all knew that. Her treatment by the press was disgusting.
British tabloid press is v different to anything here in the US. Over there everyone knows it's not serious. It lies and exaggerates, it creates simple goodies and baddies, and bashes the baddies. It's Punch and Judy. It is mostly about "taking the piss" and having a crass laugh at someone's expense. If they take it in good humor and roll with it, the machine moves on. If the target gets all pompous and snooty it guarantees a thorough thumping.
Now being royal adds to all that. Being the first black royal 1000% more so. I thought it was telling that both H&M say that going to England was the first time she felt "treated like a black woman". That has a lot of meanings and I think discloses a lot about her life until then and her expectations going into the situation. It also tells me H gave her zero prep. Pretty odd for a guy who clearly has been fascinated by the press culture that he blames for killing his mother.
Camilla is instructive here. She was the most hated person in Britain when Diana died. Many blamed her. The King was caught on a recorded call saying he wanted to be her tampon so he could be constantly inside her. Not exactly regal. They both got flayed alive for that and much else besides. Diana was young, blonde and beautiful. The trifecta for great press. Camilla was the opposite. She was Charles mommie figure (which M is to H). She was constantly attacked by the press. But she stuck it out and won. She proved the critics wrong by sheer persistence and getting on with it. Personally I don't care for her much, but I admire her tenacity. If love conquers all, she and Charles are the exemplar here. They are clearly great friends above all else.
Back to H self indulgence.
At some point one has to get over mommies death. What 38 yr old calls their mother mommie? That is NOT a British thing. That's a simple maturity thing. That and going on and on about learning to cry was pathetic. It was so self indulgent.
Hating media attention then indulging in 6 hrs of tape and ophra and all the rest will not lessen media attention. To me it comes off as deeply self indulgent and a product of American media culture that puts failure on a pedestal.
Ophra, Jerry Springer, Maury etc took abject failures whose shame was offset by the hope of fame, and made them "stars" for 5 mins. Drugs, alcoholism, cheating, kids with unknown parentage, infighting, even incest, got broken ppl their own in-depth interview on national TV.
To get on Parkinson one had to be a success and a raconteur. To get on US shows you had to be an abject failure. It's telling that in the US Harrys story gets sympathy. That's not how it's playing in blighty. Thankfully Britain still has reserve, a barrier between public and private life, and admiration for those who bare difficulty with grace. Capt Tom for example.
American bitching/fake sympathy culture has made whining and shamelessness admirable. It enables culture wars and the systematic suppression of the unfortunate who have been made to look deserving of misfortune and who are made to look like they will waste any assistance the state might offer - at expense to the "job creators". In other words taxing of the ultra wealthy. The true successes. It is the root of Trumpism.
I accept Harry had it tough and that was made much worse by the world looking on. I accept the family and the media have an unhealthy relationship and back stabbing has gone on. For good or ill, those are the rules of the game. It's not how I'd design it and it might be reformed.
But at some point one has to accept personal responsibility and find a way to work with the circumstances in which one finds oneself. As an adult, knowing his family's role in the nation, and the nations role in WWII, wearing a swastika should have been self evidently and obviously a no go and 'advisers' green lighting it should have alerted him to who his enemies inside the system were and what they were up to. He was not a 12 yr old wearing what his mommy chose for him. His education and self awareness were lacking. That's on him.
Harry has chosen a full frontal assault at the enemies strong point. If it's really about changing the system by changing the minds of his family or the nation it has already failed.
I think it's purely lashing out. He wants them to suffer as he feels he has suffered. It will only harden them in their position and make them worse. Pretending it's about reforming the system etc is delusional or mischievous. It will dent the system. I'm someone you don't want to lose, but my interest is waning. Frankly Charles' fussing over a pen pissed me off much more than Harry. But I'm a bit over Harrys whining as he hauls in hundreds of millions. They complained about a cottage they were given. In central London. GIVEN a house in central London. HELLLLLOOOOOO?
My life has a few things to whine about. But I don't. Because I'd have no friends. No one wants to constantly hear belly aching. I find positive things and try to focus on them. I keep getting up and trying to make something from the cards I've been dealt. I focus on having a laugh with mates and trying to be a good friend to them. One has long COVID. One a slowly dying wife. We share empathy, we discuss challenges, we support one another, but we don't whine. There is a great hour long interview of Prince Philip about his war service. He talks about combat. The interviewer trys to turn it into Ps emotions and P says "we just got in with it. It was war. We didn't have a couch to run to as the shells hit the ship" https://youtu.be/pX5UNcFUNN4
America needs to man up. The culture of complaint is a failure. Harry should take citizenship here. He fits in.
I am hardly a royal watcher, although I did love Diana and hated the fact that Charles "done her so wrong." To this day, I can't stand to look at Camilla. Harry is definitely Diana's son, and I understand his pain. Like his mother, Harry is fighting against centuries of royal "stuff" and he is determined that it won't kill the only other woman he ever truly loved. The love between Harry and Meghan is so real and is a joy to behold. The way Harry protects Meghan is perfection. I'm glad they moved here and got away from his crazy and dysfunctional family. I truly wish the two of them well, and other than that, I could care less. Whenever I see Americans fawning over the British royal family, I ask: "Didn't we fight two wars to free ourselves from that monarchy?"
Don’t be too hard on Camilla…. she too was a victim of the dysfunctional traditions which rule the royals… I have always disliked Charles, first for his weakness in standing up for the woman he loved… and then for his weakness in cheating on Diana and failing to stand up for her, but after watching THE CROWN, it seems that Queen Elizabeth’s rigid adherence to outdated tradition was the real problem.
In my opinion, Elizabeth’s “rigid adherence“ was a cover-up for her manipulative jealousy. Margaret was far prettier than she, and far more popular also, and she made Margaret’s life miserable.
I’m sure Diana’s popularity was just another thorn in her side.
I'm no fan of any monarchy but this one really knows how to make a mess out of something that as you state had potential to be a very good thing for them and perhaps others. I completely understand and admire Harry and Meghan's decision to leave under the fairly bad circumstances in which they were placed by the British press and by their unsympathetic (at the very best) family. Like you, when asked by a friend who did not watch the Netflix doc what I thought of it, I said it was very clear to me that they genuinely love each other. Don't know if that saves the world or even them but I like seeing it. It makes me happy to see it. Gives me some hope in a world at large that I'm pretty pessimistic about.
I was similarly affected. I despise celebrity worship. But this story has resonance for students of American history. There are distinct parallels here. I did not expect to admire their loyalty to each other and their independence. Go forth and write your own story, Sussexes. You've earned the right.
Unfortunately I don’t think love can conquer all, at least as far as we can see in the moment. I think seeing the (unconditional) love two people have for each other stirs up many positive and negative emotions. So, love might have an impact but to say it conquers? We can only hope that our love for our family and friends resonates within them and they in turn reciprocate that love and mirror it in their own relationships. Maybe in that way love begets love, begets love, and in the end will begin to conquer the negative emotions like jealousy, and the learned behaviors like racism.
Like you, I have never been overly interested in the royals - a Brit thing - but I actually started watching The Royals series on Netflix that followed the lives of the royals during QEII's reign before the series on Meg and Harry, and it made me wonder about the Brits and their continuing support of an obviously dysfunctional and archaic family structure and culture that is supposedly supported by God (or the Church of England - which is questionable at least), and are some how untouchable, even when their country may be drowning in debt or whatever, yet there it is. The value of the crown that will be worn by King Charles is over a billion pounds. WOW! How much is the royal family worth - billions of pounds at least - yet they can't balance their budgets. It was humorous to watch the royals on many occasions fussing about not being adequately supported when their government decided to scrap the royal yacht which was actually a ship manned by hundreds of Royal Navy sailors that required millions of pounds to keep up every year and would cost additional millions to refurbish.
This may be a reason we Americans decided to scrap this system 250 years ago (it really hasn't changed much in that time) because it was crazy then and still crazy today. Very strange, but we have our own problems, don't we?
I’m not a witness to the family dynamics. I refuse to blame any family members. I do wish the difficulties could have been resolved without the book and film. I can feel the anguish of the boy in the man. I hope whatever happens that they can now be happy. They wanted privacy and hope they can at last have peace. I don’t have much hope for that. As I see it, love can only survive if egos can be set aside. It takes forgiveness and time for wounds to heal.
Harry and William lost their mom publicly and tragically. I speak firsthand that my mom’s suicide when I was 8 years old left a legacy of loss for all parties.
I'm so sorry to hear about the tragic loss of your mother, Amy. Yes, a legacy of loss -I understand some of that from tragedy in my own family. May love and light now fill your world:)
True Deep multilevel Agape Love could “conquer all” -
Imagine a world where that existed: No wasted $$$ in Wars because there would be no wars; No greed; No corruption; No jealousy; No Racism; No hate
Pure focus on cherishing & improving the planet; improving all lives;
With no wars and no expenditures on killing and destroying, = more $ available for ending poverty, illnesses, saving our planet, exploring space for new “Earths”
Yes I agree you do sense deep love between Harry And Meghan and in each other’s spirit
Love conquering all I believe can only be determined by those doing the loving..And only need conquer what they need it to..In the case of Harry and Meghan who did not ask to be born into their families, I’d say it’s doing a pretty good job of it..
Harry is wounded and Megan heals him. Whether we or the Brits like her style in doing so, HE does. So with the right mix, I do believe that love can conquer all. For how long though, is another question.
In a nation known for rain and fog, Bing Crosby's old song, "Let a smile be your umbrella on a rainy, rainy day" is befitting for the Duke and Duchess of Sussex, for throughout their marriage, it has been a cloudburst but they have retained their smiles for one another. In about every picture, they are holding hands, making the British Beatles song "I want to hold your hand" indeed, relevant.
As in America, racism exists in England as evidenced by their royal relatives and a population encouraged by the British media, quite unlike France where black American artists, musicians, writers, have been welcomed. In fact, the French census does not ask for race. For years, Hitler thought of the Saxe Coburg Gotha turned Windsors as Aryans like the Germans that they were. The UK is America's closest ally, even making "God Save the King" into "My Country Tis of Thee."
Love at this time in history, is rare. Check Russia/Ukraine, America/Iran, Saudi Arabia/Yemen. Israel/Palestine, Peru/Chile, Democrats/Republicans, trump/everybody.
Jesus said to 1st love God, 2nd, love thy neighbor as thyself. Neighbors fight. Couples, after years, squabble. Harry and Meghan will have their differences, but they have gone through so much together, even a miscarriage, and Harry doesn't seem all that into royal stuff but more like his mother.I think they will make it. As for the world ???
For the family, I feel pain. Throwing family members under the bus has a painful history- Edward VIII, not allowed to return to England, thus a beloved king was destined to a life in exile. If you do the research, the Nazi accusation was part of the toxic press. There is no proof other than photos of the 1937 visit at the invitation of Germany. He fell in love with an American divorcee.
Princess Margaret committed the sin of falling in love with a divorced Brit, thus thrown on the discarded heap of royals not in control of their own lives. Fast forward to Harry and Meghan, again the spare, a position of the eternal foil, and a divorced American, biracial. And there is a divorced King on the thrown with his divorced, former mistress.
England, make it make sense. This doesn’t address the real problem- the irresponsible press loosely called the media.
Without exception, the answer to your question is YES. Paying for the next person in line at the coffee house, taking a moment to look at and say hello to a cashier, or just listening to someone who has something to say, disagree or not, is what makes our lives worth living. It makes us and them feel good. After all is said and done, isn't how we feel most important to us?
I agree with you that the love between Harry and Meghan is very obvious. An emotion that King Charles never demonstrated or even spoke of about his first wife Diana. Queen Elizabeth II shares so much of the responsibility of what happened then and is happening now. She and her handlers were more concerned about appearance than the support and understanding that Diana and Harry needed. There are other royal families in the world and many billionaires, the media is not hounding and hunting them. Looking for sensationalism to put in print to sell more tabloids. I commend Prince Harry and Megan for exposing the British tabloid media.
I am old enough to remember Charles as a child and throughput the disfunction of his first marriage. I believe his mother would approve of his expression and protection of his wife and children. The British and US media are ghoulish and greedy. They share real values and love of their own family. It’s unfortunate his family remains hidden.
I honestly don't understand the people's embrace of "Royalty." Or what is it all about where fans of sports look up to the athletes as "heroes," or actors and actresses to be put up on a pedestal, and "adored." I respect Harry and Megan for wanting to separate themselves from all the craziness of his family. If Harry also wants to clear the air of what goes on inside that craziness, and why he left it, and people want to read his book, then so be it. Now... let's leave them alone, and allow them to live their lives as a family. Whatever life that may be.
Exactly- I can understand that so many think Harry went to far but perhaps they are lacking an empathy gene?This young man is partially stuck at the point/tender age-where his mother died. All that “stiff upper lip” “just handle it” “don’t show emotion” British attitude is unseemly. That on top of the covert and overt racism towards Meghan! Obscene. 
When is the last time anyone saw William hold hands with his wife or show any affection toward her whatsoever?
Horrible undertones of racism, jealousy & haughtiness squashed what could have been a fabulous creative inclusive pair to modernize the aging, creaky monarchy.
I agree with you, Steven, that the deep bond and connection between Harry and Meghan is undeniable. Their union was somewhat ill-fated, from the start. Two independent individuals assimilating into the ranks of the Windsor Royal family represented a definite challenge. Pomp and ceremony and the need to conform are so much a part of the Palace lifestyle. As a woman of color, Meghan was also considered a 'commoner', an archaic term I find pretentious and unacceptable. She was judged harshly by many. Prince William and Kate had become the virtual 'darlings' of the Royal family, with endearing pictures of their children crowding the British tabloids. It seemed that Harry and Megan were virtually relegated to the back benches. The couple lived for a time in British Columbia, Canada, prior to relocating to California, Megan's birth State. Their ties to royalty were difficult to sever, but they can now stand in their own light, instead of being in the shadows of the Royal hierarchy. I truly wish them well.
I hope so, for them and their children. I don’t have a “side” here, but I think if things had not been unbearable they wouldn’t have chosen to leave. Good luck to everyone involved.
A recent t.v. interview with Harry told us that he is happy in his life and in the United States. I needed to hear that. There's only so much sadness and injustice I can take in. America's already on the fault line in those categories. All of the eggs are up in the air. Harry wants to ave a good relationship with his Dad, first, and with his brother. Those decisions seem to be out of Harry's hands. May he and Meghan continue to communicate well and find strength in their bond, friends, family and the life they've been building in the U.S.
Although the British royals are always a subject of great interest, especially by the press, I can’t help but wonder if the UK and the world would be better off if they had been essentially phased out after World War II. The royals have always been fortunate to have simply been born into the system, which still has many attributes of “the divine right of kings.” But, of course, that’s a very fallacious concept.
If anything could positively conquer all, I believe it would be love. Too many people currently don’t even love themselves, let alone others. I’m not sure our species is wired for unconditional love. Darwin may have unfortunately been correct in determining that we are driven by “survival of the fittest.” I wish that could change, but can it?
It is always a huge, and painful challenge to deal with, and to leave a dysfunctional family. It is good to know, and to see acknowledged, that the love of Meghan and Harry gave this couple the strength and determination to find their very own way, and to live happier, fulfilled lives. Thank you for honoring their love and their difficult, challenging journey.
Good question.
I agree with you. Their love is hard to fake.
Listening to many naysayers who accuse Megan of being manipulative and dastardly pursing her own evil agenda it is clear to me that whatever reactions are voiced are borne out of personal preferences and experiences. . In essence, people look for ways to justify their beliefs and experiences. I say: it’s their life. Who am I to judge? However, I ask those who have a negative reaction: “what do you gain by sitting in judgement of others?”
I also came away from that documentary saddened by the opportunity lost by the royal family. They had a huge opportunity to embrace change, to almost make up for some of the past injustices of their empire, and to win kudos around the world for being a part of the kinds of progressive actions that Harry and Meagan have been involved it. I think had they done so, they might also have increased their standing as royals in a world where that model is becoming outmoded. I hope H and M can continue to stand strong in their love.
Exactly.
I don’t know about love conquering anything, but like you, I was immediately struck by the genuineness of their love. That is impossible to fake.
For all the naysayers--as in Meghan is an opportunist, etc etc etc--I say, get a life. Why are you wasting your time criticizing a couple (or a person) with whom you have no contact and over whom you have no influence?
Good question.
The reaction, specifically silence, from the RF speaks volumes if you look at the RF as a family. As an institution, the silence reveals their fears of departing from their engrained practice of cooperating with the notoriously toxic British press in order to maintain their power and riches.
Love can have huge power to conquer all sorts of challenges, stories like this are such a great example of that. But the other side to love is that it can also keep people in very bad situations, or keep them in situations where they might be perpetuating systems that are ultimately not good for the majority of people. The fear of losing love, or the protection that it provides, can keep people maintaining things that might not be good for them or for society at large. So love's power to conquer can be a double edged sword.
Meghan and Harry left a dysfunctional family that demonstrates over and over again their racism, sense of entitlement and obnoxious wealth accumulation. Meghan and Harry have two young children who will lead lives filled with love from their parents and will grow up doing good things. The children will be protected. They will never be expected to suffer the toxicity of the British monarchy.
I'm glad Prince Harry and Meghan chose to leave and came to the "colonies" to set up home. Their story--their love story--reminds me of King Edward VIII who abdicated to marry Wallis Warfield Simpson. There are so many more love stories similar to theirs. Love can heal all things and love is more important than most anything. I believe, above all else, It's the one thing for which people are always searching. Never stop searching for what it is you really want -- settle for nothing less. I kissed a lot of toads, but after 50 years I found my soul-mate--worth every minute.
Sadly, Edward VIII and Wallis Simpson were traitors who aided nazis. Happily, Harry and Meghan are not!
Yes, and so were American heroes Charles Lindberg, Henry Ford, and Dale Carnegie. All purveyors of the pseudo-science of eugenics.
After the Netflix series, plus the lack of historical documentation proving the Nazi sympathizer theory, one wonders if it is an attempt to discredit Edward to exonerate the Firm for their treatment of him. The year, 1937, of the one visit to Germany begs for research.
It certainly does, Jean.
Love can heal all things and love is more important than most anything. Beautiful -I Agree!
I do think they are very much in love & it shows. I love them for standing up for each other, against the formidable opponents of the British monarchy & the British tabloids & global paparazzi who relentlessly hunt them!
I had the exact same reaction. It's sad that so many people were disappointed by the Netflix documentary because it didn't dish much dirt. I highly respect and admire Harry and Meghan.
Yes and no. It’s as individual as those involved. But it is indeed possible. And has always been so.
“Let yourself be drawn by the stronger pull of that which you truly love.” - Rumi
Al, the Rumi quote is powerful -I'd not seen it before -thank you!
This whole things is about cultural differences between Brits and Yanks. I've lived, studied and worked in both cultures. Here is my take on all of this.
My first assumption that underpins this all is I see all of their complaints about racism and the media as legitimate. I believe it and agree it's real and horrible. It's how they have gone about reacting to it that presents a square peg in a round hole. The peg is American tv emotive thinking. The hole is that strange mix of British reserve, subversive sense of humor ("taking the piss"), and not taking themselves very seriously. H&M take themselves ENORMOUSLY SERIOUSLY. That was their undoing.
"Once they have exhausted the topic of themselves, what is left for them to talk about?" Was probably one of the best insights I've read so far.
They are playing out two storylines it seems to me. The Duke and Dutchess of Windsor with a Diana overlay.
The Windsors were Nazi sympathizers who were expelled under other pretenses. A new history by Andrew Lownie, Traitor King, addresses the sordid affair. Wallis didn't want to marry but got caught in it all. David very submissive. H & M are not Nazis obviously, but his desperate submission to her, the relationship as a vehicle to get out of the predicament of his birth, and her pleasure in control of a global symbol in an attention economy, give the appearance of lurve. I'm sure in many ways they both feel love but the foundations are a weakness that will prove a problem in time.
M channels Diana in many ways. The soCal touchy feely emoting, therapy, hugs, and indulging in the mother tongue of "speaking my truth" etc. You can have your own opinions and recollections, you can not have your own truth. No one owns The Truth. This idea is very damaging. The scientific method it is not. For a thinking person, life is the creation of hypotheses about how the world works, the gathering of facts, and constant testing of hypotheses against facts to refine hypotheses and start the process again and keep refining until your are satisfied you have evidenced based knowledge about whatever it is that interests you. Keeping an open mind to constant refinement and/or new information that might completely change your mind is healthy.
But M is not the Diana figure. Harry has become his mother. He indulges emotions. It's all emotional all the time. Not logic. Like Diana, he can't understand the family. They in turn, get quickly fed by with all the whining. So to get their attention he does the book and interviews and attacks them. Even Diana limited it to one book and one interview. But then she was still in the system at that time.
Like most (but not all) of Britain, the family do not have a fetish for constant high drama. They have a very low emotional IQ. If they have a catch phrase, whether life is up or down, it is "just get on with it". M is a product of a certain type of American entertainment culture (discussed below) that is at complete odds with how the British tick. It's great for H, but Britain is not on board with it at all.
Megan was always going to face a brutal on boarding into the institution. ... Including racism. They all knew that. Her treatment by the press was disgusting.
British tabloid press is v different to anything here in the US. Over there everyone knows it's not serious. It lies and exaggerates, it creates simple goodies and baddies, and bashes the baddies. It's Punch and Judy. It is mostly about "taking the piss" and having a crass laugh at someone's expense. If they take it in good humor and roll with it, the machine moves on. If the target gets all pompous and snooty it guarantees a thorough thumping.
Now being royal adds to all that. Being the first black royal 1000% more so. I thought it was telling that both H&M say that going to England was the first time she felt "treated like a black woman". That has a lot of meanings and I think discloses a lot about her life until then and her expectations going into the situation. It also tells me H gave her zero prep. Pretty odd for a guy who clearly has been fascinated by the press culture that he blames for killing his mother.
Camilla is instructive here. She was the most hated person in Britain when Diana died. Many blamed her. The King was caught on a recorded call saying he wanted to be her tampon so he could be constantly inside her. Not exactly regal. They both got flayed alive for that and much else besides. Diana was young, blonde and beautiful. The trifecta for great press. Camilla was the opposite. She was Charles mommie figure (which M is to H). She was constantly attacked by the press. But she stuck it out and won. She proved the critics wrong by sheer persistence and getting on with it. Personally I don't care for her much, but I admire her tenacity. If love conquers all, she and Charles are the exemplar here. They are clearly great friends above all else.
Back to H self indulgence.
At some point one has to get over mommies death. What 38 yr old calls their mother mommie? That is NOT a British thing. That's a simple maturity thing. That and going on and on about learning to cry was pathetic. It was so self indulgent.
Hating media attention then indulging in 6 hrs of tape and ophra and all the rest will not lessen media attention. To me it comes off as deeply self indulgent and a product of American media culture that puts failure on a pedestal.
Ophra, Jerry Springer, Maury etc took abject failures whose shame was offset by the hope of fame, and made them "stars" for 5 mins. Drugs, alcoholism, cheating, kids with unknown parentage, infighting, even incest, got broken ppl their own in-depth interview on national TV.
To get on Parkinson one had to be a success and a raconteur. To get on US shows you had to be an abject failure. It's telling that in the US Harrys story gets sympathy. That's not how it's playing in blighty. Thankfully Britain still has reserve, a barrier between public and private life, and admiration for those who bare difficulty with grace. Capt Tom for example.
American bitching/fake sympathy culture has made whining and shamelessness admirable. It enables culture wars and the systematic suppression of the unfortunate who have been made to look deserving of misfortune and who are made to look like they will waste any assistance the state might offer - at expense to the "job creators". In other words taxing of the ultra wealthy. The true successes. It is the root of Trumpism.
I accept Harry had it tough and that was made much worse by the world looking on. I accept the family and the media have an unhealthy relationship and back stabbing has gone on. For good or ill, those are the rules of the game. It's not how I'd design it and it might be reformed.
But at some point one has to accept personal responsibility and find a way to work with the circumstances in which one finds oneself. As an adult, knowing his family's role in the nation, and the nations role in WWII, wearing a swastika should have been self evidently and obviously a no go and 'advisers' green lighting it should have alerted him to who his enemies inside the system were and what they were up to. He was not a 12 yr old wearing what his mommy chose for him. His education and self awareness were lacking. That's on him.
Harry has chosen a full frontal assault at the enemies strong point. If it's really about changing the system by changing the minds of his family or the nation it has already failed.
I think it's purely lashing out. He wants them to suffer as he feels he has suffered. It will only harden them in their position and make them worse. Pretending it's about reforming the system etc is delusional or mischievous. It will dent the system. I'm someone you don't want to lose, but my interest is waning. Frankly Charles' fussing over a pen pissed me off much more than Harry. But I'm a bit over Harrys whining as he hauls in hundreds of millions. They complained about a cottage they were given. In central London. GIVEN a house in central London. HELLLLLOOOOOO?
My life has a few things to whine about. But I don't. Because I'd have no friends. No one wants to constantly hear belly aching. I find positive things and try to focus on them. I keep getting up and trying to make something from the cards I've been dealt. I focus on having a laugh with mates and trying to be a good friend to them. One has long COVID. One a slowly dying wife. We share empathy, we discuss challenges, we support one another, but we don't whine. There is a great hour long interview of Prince Philip about his war service. He talks about combat. The interviewer trys to turn it into Ps emotions and P says "we just got in with it. It was war. We didn't have a couch to run to as the shells hit the ship" https://youtu.be/pX5UNcFUNN4
America needs to man up. The culture of complaint is a failure. Harry should take citizenship here. He fits in.
I am hardly a royal watcher, although I did love Diana and hated the fact that Charles "done her so wrong." To this day, I can't stand to look at Camilla. Harry is definitely Diana's son, and I understand his pain. Like his mother, Harry is fighting against centuries of royal "stuff" and he is determined that it won't kill the only other woman he ever truly loved. The love between Harry and Meghan is so real and is a joy to behold. The way Harry protects Meghan is perfection. I'm glad they moved here and got away from his crazy and dysfunctional family. I truly wish the two of them well, and other than that, I could care less. Whenever I see Americans fawning over the British royal family, I ask: "Didn't we fight two wars to free ourselves from that monarchy?"
Don’t be too hard on Camilla…. she too was a victim of the dysfunctional traditions which rule the royals… I have always disliked Charles, first for his weakness in standing up for the woman he loved… and then for his weakness in cheating on Diana and failing to stand up for her, but after watching THE CROWN, it seems that Queen Elizabeth’s rigid adherence to outdated tradition was the real problem.
In my opinion, Elizabeth’s “rigid adherence“ was a cover-up for her manipulative jealousy. Margaret was far prettier than she, and far more popular also, and she made Margaret’s life miserable.
I’m sure Diana’s popularity was just another thorn in her side.
Two needy people found each other! Glad they did! Now can the rest of us get on with our lives!
You have a point. LOL
I'm no fan of any monarchy but this one really knows how to make a mess out of something that as you state had potential to be a very good thing for them and perhaps others. I completely understand and admire Harry and Meghan's decision to leave under the fairly bad circumstances in which they were placed by the British press and by their unsympathetic (at the very best) family. Like you, when asked by a friend who did not watch the Netflix doc what I thought of it, I said it was very clear to me that they genuinely love each other. Don't know if that saves the world or even them but I like seeing it. It makes me happy to see it. Gives me some hope in a world at large that I'm pretty pessimistic about.
I was similarly affected. I despise celebrity worship. But this story has resonance for students of American history. There are distinct parallels here. I did not expect to admire their loyalty to each other and their independence. Go forth and write your own story, Sussexes. You've earned the right.
Unfortunately I don’t think love can conquer all, at least as far as we can see in the moment. I think seeing the (unconditional) love two people have for each other stirs up many positive and negative emotions. So, love might have an impact but to say it conquers? We can only hope that our love for our family and friends resonates within them and they in turn reciprocate that love and mirror it in their own relationships. Maybe in that way love begets love, begets love, and in the end will begin to conquer the negative emotions like jealousy, and the learned behaviors like racism.
Like you, I have never been overly interested in the royals - a Brit thing - but I actually started watching The Royals series on Netflix that followed the lives of the royals during QEII's reign before the series on Meg and Harry, and it made me wonder about the Brits and their continuing support of an obviously dysfunctional and archaic family structure and culture that is supposedly supported by God (or the Church of England - which is questionable at least), and are some how untouchable, even when their country may be drowning in debt or whatever, yet there it is. The value of the crown that will be worn by King Charles is over a billion pounds. WOW! How much is the royal family worth - billions of pounds at least - yet they can't balance their budgets. It was humorous to watch the royals on many occasions fussing about not being adequately supported when their government decided to scrap the royal yacht which was actually a ship manned by hundreds of Royal Navy sailors that required millions of pounds to keep up every year and would cost additional millions to refurbish.
This may be a reason we Americans decided to scrap this system 250 years ago (it really hasn't changed much in that time) because it was crazy then and still crazy today. Very strange, but we have our own problems, don't we?
I’m not a witness to the family dynamics. I refuse to blame any family members. I do wish the difficulties could have been resolved without the book and film. I can feel the anguish of the boy in the man. I hope whatever happens that they can now be happy. They wanted privacy and hope they can at last have peace. I don’t have much hope for that. As I see it, love can only survive if egos can be set aside. It takes forgiveness and time for wounds to heal.
Harry and William lost their mom publicly and tragically. I speak firsthand that my mom’s suicide when I was 8 years old left a legacy of loss for all parties.
I'm so sorry to hear about the tragic loss of your mother, Amy. Yes, a legacy of loss -I understand some of that from tragedy in my own family. May love and light now fill your world:)
Yes
True Deep multilevel Agape Love could “conquer all” -
Imagine a world where that existed: No wasted $$$ in Wars because there would be no wars; No greed; No corruption; No jealousy; No Racism; No hate
Pure focus on cherishing & improving the planet; improving all lives;
With no wars and no expenditures on killing and destroying, = more $ available for ending poverty, illnesses, saving our planet, exploring space for new “Earths”
Yes I agree you do sense deep love between Harry And Meghan and in each other’s spirit
The Current “leads” of the Monarchy
(C and C) are Bereft of those qualities
Imagine
Love conquering all I believe can only be determined by those doing the loving..And only need conquer what they need it to..In the case of Harry and Meghan who did not ask to be born into their families, I’d say it’s doing a pretty good job of it..
Harry is wounded and Megan heals him. Whether we or the Brits like her style in doing so, HE does. So with the right mix, I do believe that love can conquer all. For how long though, is another question.
In a nation known for rain and fog, Bing Crosby's old song, "Let a smile be your umbrella on a rainy, rainy day" is befitting for the Duke and Duchess of Sussex, for throughout their marriage, it has been a cloudburst but they have retained their smiles for one another. In about every picture, they are holding hands, making the British Beatles song "I want to hold your hand" indeed, relevant.
As in America, racism exists in England as evidenced by their royal relatives and a population encouraged by the British media, quite unlike France where black American artists, musicians, writers, have been welcomed. In fact, the French census does not ask for race. For years, Hitler thought of the Saxe Coburg Gotha turned Windsors as Aryans like the Germans that they were. The UK is America's closest ally, even making "God Save the King" into "My Country Tis of Thee."
Love at this time in history, is rare. Check Russia/Ukraine, America/Iran, Saudi Arabia/Yemen. Israel/Palestine, Peru/Chile, Democrats/Republicans, trump/everybody.
Jesus said to 1st love God, 2nd, love thy neighbor as thyself. Neighbors fight. Couples, after years, squabble. Harry and Meghan will have their differences, but they have gone through so much together, even a miscarriage, and Harry doesn't seem all that into royal stuff but more like his mother.I think they will make it. As for the world ???
For the family, I feel pain. Throwing family members under the bus has a painful history- Edward VIII, not allowed to return to England, thus a beloved king was destined to a life in exile. If you do the research, the Nazi accusation was part of the toxic press. There is no proof other than photos of the 1937 visit at the invitation of Germany. He fell in love with an American divorcee.
Princess Margaret committed the sin of falling in love with a divorced Brit, thus thrown on the discarded heap of royals not in control of their own lives. Fast forward to Harry and Meghan, again the spare, a position of the eternal foil, and a divorced American, biracial. And there is a divorced King on the thrown with his divorced, former mistress.
England, make it make sense. This doesn’t address the real problem- the irresponsible press loosely called the media.
Agreed you can’t fake real love and they have an over abundance of it for real!
What a missed opportunity for the Royal Family and our planet. I wish them the best.
Without exception, the answer to your question is YES. Paying for the next person in line at the coffee house, taking a moment to look at and say hello to a cashier, or just listening to someone who has something to say, disagree or not, is what makes our lives worth living. It makes us and them feel good. After all is said and done, isn't how we feel most important to us?
I agree with you that the love between Harry and Meghan is very obvious. An emotion that King Charles never demonstrated or even spoke of about his first wife Diana. Queen Elizabeth II shares so much of the responsibility of what happened then and is happening now. She and her handlers were more concerned about appearance than the support and understanding that Diana and Harry needed. There are other royal families in the world and many billionaires, the media is not hounding and hunting them. Looking for sensationalism to put in print to sell more tabloids. I commend Prince Harry and Megan for exposing the British tabloid media.
I am old enough to remember Charles as a child and throughput the disfunction of his first marriage. I believe his mother would approve of his expression and protection of his wife and children. The British and US media are ghoulish and greedy. They share real values and love of their own family. It’s unfortunate his family remains hidden.
I honestly don't understand the people's embrace of "Royalty." Or what is it all about where fans of sports look up to the athletes as "heroes," or actors and actresses to be put up on a pedestal, and "adored." I respect Harry and Megan for wanting to separate themselves from all the craziness of his family. If Harry also wants to clear the air of what goes on inside that craziness, and why he left it, and people want to read his book, then so be it. Now... let's leave them alone, and allow them to live their lives as a family. Whatever life that may be.
Exactly- I can understand that so many think Harry went to far but perhaps they are lacking an empathy gene?This young man is partially stuck at the point/tender age-where his mother died. All that “stiff upper lip” “just handle it” “don’t show emotion” British attitude is unseemly. That on top of the covert and overt racism towards Meghan! Obscene. 
When is the last time anyone saw William hold hands with his wife or show any affection toward her whatsoever?
Horrible undertones of racism, jealousy & haughtiness squashed what could have been a fabulous creative inclusive pair to modernize the aging, creaky monarchy.
I agree with you, Steven, that the deep bond and connection between Harry and Meghan is undeniable. Their union was somewhat ill-fated, from the start. Two independent individuals assimilating into the ranks of the Windsor Royal family represented a definite challenge. Pomp and ceremony and the need to conform are so much a part of the Palace lifestyle. As a woman of color, Meghan was also considered a 'commoner', an archaic term I find pretentious and unacceptable. She was judged harshly by many. Prince William and Kate had become the virtual 'darlings' of the Royal family, with endearing pictures of their children crowding the British tabloids. It seemed that Harry and Megan were virtually relegated to the back benches. The couple lived for a time in British Columbia, Canada, prior to relocating to California, Megan's birth State. Their ties to royalty were difficult to sever, but they can now stand in their own light, instead of being in the shadows of the Royal hierarchy. I truly wish them well.
I hope so, for them and their children. I don’t have a “side” here, but I think if things had not been unbearable they wouldn’t have chosen to leave. Good luck to everyone involved.
A recent t.v. interview with Harry told us that he is happy in his life and in the United States. I needed to hear that. There's only so much sadness and injustice I can take in. America's already on the fault line in those categories. All of the eggs are up in the air. Harry wants to ave a good relationship with his Dad, first, and with his brother. Those decisions seem to be out of Harry's hands. May he and Meghan continue to communicate well and find strength in their bond, friends, family and the life they've been building in the U.S.
Although the British royals are always a subject of great interest, especially by the press, I can’t help but wonder if the UK and the world would be better off if they had been essentially phased out after World War II. The royals have always been fortunate to have simply been born into the system, which still has many attributes of “the divine right of kings.” But, of course, that’s a very fallacious concept.
If anything could positively conquer all, I believe it would be love. Too many people currently don’t even love themselves, let alone others. I’m not sure our species is wired for unconditional love. Darwin may have unfortunately been correct in determining that we are driven by “survival of the fittest.” I wish that could change, but can it?
On balance, I'd say yes and no. It's a question that can only be answered depending on who is answering right?
Please enumerate the lies that you say they have chosen to whine on.
It is Donald and Melania you’re referencing here, right?
i would say they are very much alike but i don’t remember trump’s coronation
Javanka?
Last I heard Donald and Javanka were not a couple. Although if she were not his daughter, they would be. She is certainly his “type.”
By Javanka, I mean Jared and Ivanka.