Keeping Sane, Staying in the Fight, Moving Forward

The desire to disengage is real. Here's why we shouldn't give up.

Vice President Kamala Harris exits the stage with her husband, Doug Emhoff, after conceding the election. (Photo by Kent Nishimura via Getty Images)

In the last few days, I have received a number of messages from readers who told me they are disengaging. “I am retiring from politics,” one said. “I’m avoiding the news,” said another. And this: “I’m too old for another Trump term and do not want to even see anything political for a long time. Steven, I’ve enjoyed your content, but in order to live to 78 [I’m] going cold turkey on politics.”

I get it. Trump’s emphatic win and Harris’ loss is heartbreaking, especially after all the effort so many of us have made to achieve a different outcome. This defeat is made harder by the awareness of the dark and disturbing days to come with Donald Trump back in the White House. There are many high-profile critics who are wondering about their safety now in a world where Trump fanatics like Steve Bannon echo his leader’s fervor for retribution by promising “rough justice.”

It would be a mistake to assume that Trump wasn’t serious with all his violent, vengeance-inciting verbiage. Anyone who assumes the next Attorney General will act with the reluctance and politeness of Merrick Garland toward the ex-president—resulting in his not being held account for inciting a deadly insurrection on Jan. 6—is sorely underestimating Donald Trump’s endless capacity for cruelty, attraction to carnage and hunger to punish anyone who crosses him.

But it would be a misfortune if many of us meet the coming months only with fear and reluctance, disengaging from the necessary opposition to Trump’s authoritarian enterprise. That’s what Trump hopes to achieve with his angry, aggressive intimidation.

It’s appalling to see how the billionaires have quickly fallen in line. This arrived yesterday from Washington Post and Amazon owner Jeff Bezos, who spinelessly deep-sixed his newspaper’s endorsement of Kamala Harris: “Big congratulations to our 45th and now 47th President on an extraordinary political comeback and decisive victory,” he posted on what was Twitter. “No nation has bigger opportunities. Wishing Donald Trump all success in leading and uniting the America we all love.”

In a normal world, of course, that would read like a warm and magnanimous gesture, not a kowtowing plea from a self-interested businessman who fears the consequences of crossing Trump. And he was not alone.

Meta/Facebook owner Mark Zuckerburg, who’s been threatened with prison by Trump, posted this on his social media site, Threads: “Congratulations to President Trump on a decisive victory. We have great opportunities ahead of us as a country. Looking forward to working with you and your administration.”

So again: I get it if you’re feeling utterly discouraged and doubtful if you should stay involved. If the billionaires are rolling over, why should anyone take any risks? That’s understandable, especially in the wake of this awful defeat, and a reason why some of us will choose to disconnect.

But I urge you to take to heart the closing words of President Joe Biden yesterday in graciously accepting the election’s outcome: “Setbacks are unavoidable, but giving up is unforgivable…We are going to be OK, but we need to stay engaged.”

I also urge you to listen to every word of Kamala Harris’ concession speech Wednesday from Howard University (you can watch it here). I was particularly interested in her guidance as we look forward.

“While I concede this election,” she said, “I do not concede the fight that fueled this campaign—the fight for freedom, for opportunity, for fairness and the dignity of all people. A fight for the ideals at the heart of our nation, the ideals that reflect America at our best. That is a fight I will never give up.”

She also talked about not giving up the fight for reproductive freedom, for protecting our schools and streets from gun violence, and for democracy, the rule of law and equal justice. “And we will continue to wage this fight in the voting booth, in the courts and in the public square. And we will also wage it in quieter ways: in how we live our lives by treating one another with kindness and respect, by looking in the face of a stranger and seeing a neighbor, by always using our strength to lift people up, to fight for the dignity that all people deserve.” We will need to hear more thoughts like this as Trump and his enablers drag us through their world of hostility and degradation.

The vice president made a particular plea to young people, including students in the audience from Howard, a historically Black university: “To the young people who are watching, it is OK to feel sad and disappointed. But please know it's going to be OK…Don’t ever give up. Don’t ever stop trying to make the world a better place…the fight for our country is always worth it.”

And this Democratic nominee who ran a passionate, energetic, extraordinary campaign and surely is struggling now with the heartbreak of defeat, concluded with a promise for the future: “On the campaign, I would often say ‘when we fight, we win.’ But here's the thing, here's the thing: Sometimes the fight takes a while. That doesn't mean we won't win.”

Yet we know now that getting to that place—to realizing a progressive, multicultural America and ensuring our democratic future—is going to take longer. This will require a tough slog against a party and a president bent on stripping away freedoms, further enriching the wealthiest among us, deporting immigrants and endangering the lives of other marginalized groups, transforming our government into an authoritarian, kleptocratic enterprise populated with sycophants and gleefully pursuing retribution.

Their pursuit will include degrading our capacity to know what is true and what is false as it pumps up the image of its dictatorial leader. We can expect that truth and trust will be among the casualties: Crime going up? Change the statistics. Joblessness, growth rates, other economic indicators chronicling failure? Change them. The deadly truth about Jan. 6 and the pandemic? These events will become part of the hagiography of a great leader who his Christian nationalist cultists believe has been anointed by God to save America.

Yes, there will be plenty more reasons to reconsider how you want to be engaged—and how much. And I hope you will find America, America and my continuing work here to be a useful setting to reflect on what’s happening and what’s at stake and to keep in mind the commitment to securing a better nation. I expect to highlight successful acts of resistance at national, state and local levels. I also hope you’ll find continuing solace and insight by being part of a growing community of thoughtful, caring individuals.

That said, I think we all need to consider what forms of self-care we can choose that will increase our sense of well-being in what are and will be trying times. That may be as simple as eating well, taking more walks, doing more exercise, watching comedies and reading books that lift your spirits. Maybe it’s finding a hobby—my wife urges me to find one almost every day—or taking up a new sport or learning a new skill like painting or playing an instrument.

This list must include spending more time with family and friends. And yes, it also means restricting how much news you watch and how much you let Donald Trump occupy space in your brain. (I expect to share more Saturday posts here that focus on the arts as one way to take a break from the relentless political realities; in less hectic moments, these have been popular additions.)

I found Eugene Robinson’s Washington Post column on this topic particularly useful. It ended like this:

It is unfair that Americans chose someone like Donald Trump over someone like Kamala Harris, and I fear the nation and the world will regret that decision. I’m going to be angry and frustrated. But I’m not going to spend all my waking hours stewing over the fact that Trump is going to be president. I’m going to follow the news—that’s my job—but I won’t take his nonsense personally. I’m going to find a better politics-life balance and catch myself when I start obsessing over the latest outrage.

I’ve given Donald Trump too much space in my head. I’ve let him make me angry and frustrated, sometimes causing those feelings to wrongly bleed into my family life. I’ve spent too many waking hours stewing over the absurd and painful reality that he held the highest office in our land and abused it with such determination. Now he’s been granted license to do it again—and harder.

I will not give up the effort to pursue a better, more just, more equal, more democratic, more decent and kind America. It will take plenty of energy and effort to keep clear about what is true and what is false, what is right and wrong, what is normal and what is insane—and to inform myself and you about what’s happening and what we might do about it.

But I can be of no service to you, dear readers, or my family and friends, if I let four more years of Donald Trump destroy my well-being. I’m in this for the long haul—and I hope you’re with me.

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