In a Sane World (Take Five)

A picture of a presidency that would make sense—in 25 thoughts

(Illustration by Jorm Sangsorn via Getty Images)

Most days I try to take the daily onslaught of chaos and crazy as practically as I can. That doesn’t mean normalizing it—treating all the mad demolition as if it reflects “reality”—but rather accepting that this is the hand we’ve been dealt and confronting it as soberly as I can.

The more the unfolding stories involve extreme injustice and inequality, violent abuse, hatred and bigotry, the harder I find it to respond cooly and calmly. Some things are just deeply immoral and wrong—and I’ll be damned if I’m going to adapt myself to what I know must be grounds for battle.

But, honestly, when I think more deeply about these things, I don’t only try to differentiate true from false and right from wrong, but also to remember what should be obvious in a normal world versus what is happening that is just frankly batshit crazy. In an effort to both spotlight the ways in which our beloved country has been turned upside down this year and also hold onto my sanity, what follows are 25 brief reflections on what I think a sane world would include. Here goes!

In a sane world:

1. The voters would never elect a pathological liar, malignant narcissist, sadist and sociopath who hates most of the country’s people—a broken man who is chiefly interested in enriching himself, getting attention, creating havoc, savoring violence and seeking retribution against his perceived enemies.

2. A former president who lied about voter fraud and incited a deadly insurrection to stay in power after losing an election would not be able to run for public office ever again—and that means any public office, including the highest office in the land.

3. An insurrectionist former president, who represents a clear and present danger to the country and its democratic form of government, would not get a winning total of over 77 million votes while 89 million eligible voters stay home.

4. That same person, when retaking the levers of power, would take the win and not devote himself to more lying about his previous loss and pardoning everyone under the sun who tried to help him cheat his way into holding onto power the last time.

5. A president—an American president—would not viciously demonize nearly half of the country by calling Democrats radical left lunatics and even terrorists.

6. No American president would talk about running for a third term when he or she knows that it contradicts the Constitution, nor would they abuse their power or seek to illegally rig elections to win.

7. No president would have any reason to worry that his old friends had sexually abused and trafficked hundreds of underage girls. In fact, such a friendship would cause a major political party to nullify its nomination of such a candidate, and voters in turn would overwhelmingly reject him at the ballot box.

8. An innocent president, in fact, would act like an innocent man and welcome scrutiny—not desperately try to keep the public from seeing evidence that could shed light on his past activities.

9. A man given the gift of the nation’s highest office would cherish the historic home in which he lives. He wouldn’t dream of demolishing a major portion of that building without consulting the people who elected him, nor would he pave over with concrete a beloved rose garden created by one of the nation’s most beloved first ladies.

10. As the leader of a democracy, his taste in interior decorating would not align with dictators, nor would he be convinced that covering everything he can in gold makes him look richer and more stylish.

11. He would never prioritize the building of a billionaires’ ballroom and giving the richest Americans trillions in tax cuts, especially at a time when the government is shut down. Nor would he be indifferent to or sadistically savor the fact that tens of millions of Americans are losing benefits to stave off hunger and struggling to pay for health care.

12. He would recognize that the idea of “America First” could not possibly mean handing over $40 billion to an authoritarian ally in Argentina when Americans are struggling to make ends meet.

13. After promising to deport only hardened criminals, he wouldn’t then change course by rounding up nearly anyone whose skin is brown and ignoring their basic right to due process.

14. He wouldn’t build a federal police state that sends masked men in the street to assault and kidnap people in unmarked cars, nor would he—when questioned about their treatment—say that his abusive, lawless operatives haven’t gone far enough.

15. He wouldn’t say he cares about law and order, then proudly hang outside the Oval Office a framed mugshot of himself from when he was taken into criminal custody. He would be ashamed to show it.

16. He would not wreck alliances and friendships built over decades and even centuries, just to make himself look more powerful and to please a murderous dictator sitting in the Kremlin.

17. Such a person, rather than dwelling in hatred, hostility and a hunger for vengeance, would thank his lucky stars and use his good fortune to actually do good and work to make life better for all Americans.

18. He would use the gift of power to confront real problems such as the epidemic of gun violence rather than make up problems that he can later claim he fixed. He surely would not illegally murder people in international waters and claim he’s fixing the drug problem by killing narco-terrorists.

19. He would be unable to ignore the increasingly visible reality of a changing climate as communities and individuals struggle with extreme weather events of greater frequency and intensity—and he would ensure that disaster relief is available wherever it’s needed.

20. He would be grateful to inherit an economy that is the envy of the world and not work, tariff by foolish tariff, to destroy all the success handed to him.

21. He would recognize that American colleges and universities have long been a magnet for top talent from around the world and that the research conducted in the country he serves has made lives healthier, smarter, more innovative and wealthier.

22. He would not work aggressively to damage the nation’s top colleges and universities because he despises their independent thinking and actions.

23. An American president would understand, on the verge of the nation’s 250th anniversary, the meaning of leading a democracy that has long been a model to the world. He would relish the opportunity to represent such a nation and be ashamed to dismantle its democratic institutions or trash its laws, values and principles.

24. He would praise the Constitution, respect the rule of law, seek justice, cherish fundamental rights and strengthen education. He would use every day that he’s been given to make lives better—because he understands that’s the only real reason to take the job in the first place.

25. Americans could count on an overwhelming majority demanding the removal of a lawless, hateful, criminal president from office.

We are not there yet. But the more we embrace the idea that we don’t have to be held hostage by a mad White House occupant who rejects sanity in his hunger for total power, the more this can be our future.

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Note: Previous “In a Sane World” lists can be found here: Take One on March 21, 2022, Take Two on Sept. 2, 2022, Take Three on Sept. 25, 2023 and Take Four on Feb. 16, 2024. Enjoy.

Also: I will be holding a one-hour live chat later today at 4PM ET to discuss these ideas, other ideas that I missed, and your thoughts about the Epstein files. This is for paid subscribers, so do consider becoming one if you’re not yet.

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