Mr. Beschloss, I wish you peace and comfort in your memories -- losing someone is a difficult path. I hope your words give you comfort as much as they do for us.
When my grown daughter was killed, I wished silently to go with her when I had to agree to ending her life support. Yet I have five grown children still. I'm 86 and I send each
what I call "lovegrams" by text. That's all. Lovegrams.
Having missed this the first time, grateful you sent again. Would that everyone read & heed but we know many who will read & not comprehend. Consider a redo every 1 or 2 years - maybe will eventually sink in. Thank you for the 'replay,' you brightened my day esp the last sentences.
What inspiring words “ to act with purity of heart “. Kindness may not be contagious with all whose paths we cross, but it is so worthwhile to gamble on the occasional rebuff that we must and I forcefully repeat we must ingrain that in our psyche. The reward of receiving kindness in return is so enriching that I propose that this subject continue to be part & parcel of our path to not only secure our democracy and but to enrich as well.
Republicans think by saying they are Christian makes them compassionate. But their actions show no compassion. They show more compassion for gun owners than gun violence victims.
Thank you for sharing your timely writing, Steven. It is never easy to lose a loved one. We all need to champion the light of empathy, in a time when kindness towards others is not a given. So many have diverted on a path of self-interest that overrides good will towards others. Joe Biden's empathy is sincere and far-reaching. He has experienced the pain of personal loss, and reaches out to offer genuine comfort to others who grieve. It pains me to see Republicans taking verbal shots at President Biden who stands as a pinnacle of kindness and sincere intention.
Sure, that happens. But watch, most little ones soon change their minds after a little while and offer the coveted toy th their friend. That’s my experience.
It would be wonderful if everyone followed the golden rule. But human nature being what it is , since time began, there exists in the same person, the ability to be kind, compassionate, but also to be bitter , to defy kindness. In "Presidents of War" we see these traits even in Lincoln who hated his ignorant, mean father, for he would not allow him to meet Mary or his children and did not attend his funeral. Speaking from personal experience, as I have said, I have a small, part time job in a grocery store. One cashier threw purchases down to me while I was packing them for customer, so hard that it cut my arm and bled a long time as on blood thinners. She never apologized. Another who hardly knows me , bought a birthday cake for me, hugged me, wished me the best, and we shared the cake with others in the lunch room.
My district representative, Vern Buchanan, sends little quiz emails where the answer must be yes or no. The questions are always stated in such a way that only Republicans will agree with his opinion.
What could be more evil than MTG following David Hogg jeering at him, after all the terrible things that he witnessed and will remember the rest of his life.
We are fortunate that President Biden won, that he is kind, wants to represent all the people, does his best against the odds, even in his own party. Unlike the Republicans, I never read of him denouncing the opposition constantly, making that the issue as do they.
Although chaos, cruelty, selfishness will continue to be present, may the President's good will and compassion win out.
Being strong is not the issue with such emotional crisis at hand for anyone.
At my age, I have been very lucky not to have had terrible loss of those closest to me. I am the lucky one but I have strong empathy for many even people I do not or barely know.
Empathy for others is what gets me through trying emotional times and I can imagine that you are this way and understand the value yourself.
I do not know you but I love your shared words with all of us and your shared tragedy brings tears to my eyes. Just remember that as you touch all of us here that favor your writing, you are creating scores of kindred spirits that send you their better Angels at all times.
I grew up in the 50’s and 50’s. It was common for parents to prevent by any means possible their child to feel her own feelings. And boys were especially abused in this fashion. Of course the parents didn’t know any better because they themselves were raised to be ashamed if they cared or cried and ashamed if they felt fear. All this was reinforced by calling them names, like wimp, baby, and so forth. They were terribly shamed. Everyone has noticed how natural empathy is inborn in a child. It shows itself early. It had to be swatted back lest the child embarrass the parent in public. There was also a fear that boys might grow up to be gay if these normal human emotions were not eradicated. I remember there was a popular book written back then that admonished parents never to pick up their baby when she continued to cry.
I grew up in the 50s, 60s. You must have had very different parents and experiences than I, for I found them to be good, happy years. Gay wasn't even a word in its present meaning but meant joy. I know of no shaming, Dr.Spock, leading authority on babies then, assured parents that they would not spoil a baby by picking it up when crying. The unkindness of that era was the attitude towards race.
Yes, I think the word sissy was used then, and queer.
We all have our own experiences growing up. My siblings and I found out never to bring certain words into the conversation like love, and especially sex. And yet they had many other qualities that were positive. They were never at all racist. In those days we had black maids, gardeners and cooks. They were my friends and teachers. My parents were what were called upper middle class then and yet never impressed on us that money was overly important. They both had wonderful senses of humor. I could see they were devastated if a friend should die or become ill. They took us to wonderful places and taught us good manners.
Mr. Beschloss, I wish you peace and comfort in your memories -- losing someone is a difficult path. I hope your words give you comfort as much as they do for us.
Thank you, Susan.
When my grown daughter was killed, I wished silently to go with her when I had to agree to ending her life support. Yet I have five grown children still. I'm 86 and I send each
what I call "lovegrams" by text. That's all. Lovegrams.
Having missed this the first time, grateful you sent again. Would that everyone read & heed but we know many who will read & not comprehend. Consider a redo every 1 or 2 years - maybe will eventually sink in. Thank you for the 'replay,' you brightened my day esp the last sentences.
What inspiring words “ to act with purity of heart “. Kindness may not be contagious with all whose paths we cross, but it is so worthwhile to gamble on the occasional rebuff that we must and I forcefully repeat we must ingrain that in our psyche. The reward of receiving kindness in return is so enriching that I propose that this subject continue to be part & parcel of our path to not only secure our democracy and but to enrich as well.
Republicans think by saying they are Christian makes them compassionate. But their actions show no compassion. They show more compassion for gun owners than gun violence victims.
Very frustrating time we're living in.
Thank you for sharing your timely writing, Steven. It is never easy to lose a loved one. We all need to champion the light of empathy, in a time when kindness towards others is not a given. So many have diverted on a path of self-interest that overrides good will towards others. Joe Biden's empathy is sincere and far-reaching. He has experienced the pain of personal loss, and reaches out to offer genuine comfort to others who grieve. It pains me to see Republicans taking verbal shots at President Biden who stands as a pinnacle of kindness and sincere intention.
I’m not crying, I just have something in my eye. Thank you, Stephen.
Me too!
Compassion stems from within. I wrote about that need myself, a bit ago, in a different vein. “We are what we repeatedly do”
https://albellenchia.substack.com/p/indignities
But, we are not born with that trait. Traits can be changed. We must, by example, show the value in displaying kindness.
We are not born with what trait? I believe that kindness is inherent in most and hate and intolerance is learned and taught.
I agree that hate and intolerance are taught, but I’ve also learned that some of us can move on to greener pastures of thoughtfulness and kindness.
Agreed.
Word.
All is not innocence in little children. Watch toddlers at play, unwilling to share a toy .
Sure, that happens. But watch, most little ones soon change their minds after a little while and offer the coveted toy th their friend. That’s my experience.
Peace to you and your family...
Thank you for this.
It would be wonderful if everyone followed the golden rule. But human nature being what it is , since time began, there exists in the same person, the ability to be kind, compassionate, but also to be bitter , to defy kindness. In "Presidents of War" we see these traits even in Lincoln who hated his ignorant, mean father, for he would not allow him to meet Mary or his children and did not attend his funeral. Speaking from personal experience, as I have said, I have a small, part time job in a grocery store. One cashier threw purchases down to me while I was packing them for customer, so hard that it cut my arm and bled a long time as on blood thinners. She never apologized. Another who hardly knows me , bought a birthday cake for me, hugged me, wished me the best, and we shared the cake with others in the lunch room.
My district representative, Vern Buchanan, sends little quiz emails where the answer must be yes or no. The questions are always stated in such a way that only Republicans will agree with his opinion.
What could be more evil than MTG following David Hogg jeering at him, after all the terrible things that he witnessed and will remember the rest of his life.
We are fortunate that President Biden won, that he is kind, wants to represent all the people, does his best against the odds, even in his own party. Unlike the Republicans, I never read of him denouncing the opposition constantly, making that the issue as do they.
Although chaos, cruelty, selfishness will continue to be present, may the President's good will and compassion win out.
Dear Steven
Being strong is not the issue with such emotional crisis at hand for anyone.
At my age, I have been very lucky not to have had terrible loss of those closest to me. I am the lucky one but I have strong empathy for many even people I do not or barely know.
Empathy for others is what gets me through trying emotional times and I can imagine that you are this way and understand the value yourself.
I do not know you but I love your shared words with all of us and your shared tragedy brings tears to my eyes. Just remember that as you touch all of us here that favor your writing, you are creating scores of kindred spirits that send you their better Angels at all times.
Peace be with you my friend!
Al Ross III
what a beautiful response, Al
if you are ever in trying times, I'm with you
blessings in all your journeys
and thank you for being part of mine
Coming from you Dr. Hall, that is the best compliment that anyone could ever receive.
Thank You Dearly
thank you so much dear Al
Not one Republican has an ounce of compassion. They seem to have fetid hearts filled with hate.
I grew up in the 50’s and 50’s. It was common for parents to prevent by any means possible their child to feel her own feelings. And boys were especially abused in this fashion. Of course the parents didn’t know any better because they themselves were raised to be ashamed if they cared or cried and ashamed if they felt fear. All this was reinforced by calling them names, like wimp, baby, and so forth. They were terribly shamed. Everyone has noticed how natural empathy is inborn in a child. It shows itself early. It had to be swatted back lest the child embarrass the parent in public. There was also a fear that boys might grow up to be gay if these normal human emotions were not eradicated. I remember there was a popular book written back then that admonished parents never to pick up their baby when she continued to cry.
I grew up in the 50s, 60s. You must have had very different parents and experiences than I, for I found them to be good, happy years. Gay wasn't even a word in its present meaning but meant joy. I know of no shaming, Dr.Spock, leading authority on babies then, assured parents that they would not spoil a baby by picking it up when crying. The unkindness of that era was the attitude towards race.
There was a lot to un-learn though. And it took being curious to know what was true to find my way.
Yes, I think the word sissy was used then, and queer.
We all have our own experiences growing up. My siblings and I found out never to bring certain words into the conversation like love, and especially sex. And yet they had many other qualities that were positive. They were never at all racist. In those days we had black maids, gardeners and cooks. They were my friends and teachers. My parents were what were called upper middle class then and yet never impressed on us that money was overly important. They both had wonderful senses of humor. I could see they were devastated if a friend should die or become ill. They took us to wonderful places and taught us good manners.
Believe it or not many still act with kindness even so. Even if they seem like ogres. Everything is not black and white.
There must be at least one, but I’m still looking.
Well said.